Top: Madewell (on sale) | Coat: J.Crew (on sale) | Pants: Rag and Bone | Booties: Nordstrom Earrings: Nadri | Makeup: Vivian Makeup Artist
Lately I’ve had a lot of time to think. Think about life, the person I am, and the kind of person I want to be, the things that I value, the why behind my thoughts and actions, what drives me, the things that are important to me, and the things I want to do better. The other day I saw an old friend of mine that I’ve been dying to talk to. She is a beautiful and amazing person and I look up to her so much. She’s been through similar experiences as me and I wanted her advice. To be honest, everything that she said was exactly what I needed to hear. It was no coincidence that I saw her when I did. She lives in California now and happened to be in town for a few days and was leaving campus at the same time I was going, that wasn’t an accident. She lifted my spirits like none other and made me feel so much better! She was an answer to my prayers. Literally couldn’t be more grateful.
As the day went on, I got happier and happier, the sun was shining, the weather was amazing, classes were incredible, and I just felt really good about life. I’m a photography major and so I’m currently taking an intro to film class, which I LOVE. We were watching a film the other day, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The film was meant to make you think, and I definitely did. My mind was racing the entire time I was watching it. It sort of gave me a new outlook on life, and the “why” behind many peoples daily decisions. I thought about myself, and who I am. I’ve decided in order to obtain the things I want in this life, I have to truly understand who I am, and the type of person that I am. So…
I’m the type of person that loves people. I love meeting new people, interacting with people, and being surrounded by lots of great people. I am also a people pleaser, which isn’t always a good thing. I never want to rock the boat or make someone else feel bad so instead, I will take the blame for it. I don’t mind most of the time, but a lot of times, like in relationships it’s not necessarily a good thing, taking all the blame can get a little emotionally draining sometimes. I try to be kind. I am loving, I have a big heart, I see the best in people and situations, I am loyal, I am dramatic, haha I am perpetually late, I am witty, if I do say so myself 😉 I don’t take myself too seriously, I love to see and experience the world, I love to work hard and push myself, I hate being mediocre, I like to go full out in all things, I love kids, I love my family, and honestly, I just love life. Sometimes it gets hard, but it’s the daily choice to be better and do better that make this life worth living. I can always be better and do better. Most importantly to all of this, I am a Mormon. I love The Gospel of Jesus Christ and the joy that it brings to my life. I don’t know where I would ever be without it.
I want to be the type of person that would never say no, who always finds time to serve, who would never turn down an opportunity to serve, who would do anything for anyone, who is a good listener, who someone can confide, who can be there for people, who makes people feel confident, who makes people smile, who helps bear another’s burdens, who is kind and loving and generous to all people. The biggest thing that has been troubling me lately is the why behind my blog, and my instagram. Most of my pictures are of myself, and seem very selfish and vain. Which I hate because I don’t want to be that type of person. I have so much more to offer the world than just outfit and beauty tips. Yes, I love those things but they aren’t what is most important, and often I let my blog get in the way of the person that I want to be and the relationships I want to form, and to be honest, I don’t know if it is the person I want to be, or really who I am. I mean yes I have always loved fashion and style and beauty and I love feeling beautiful, but I want to make others feel beautiful, I want to make others shine, and feel confident. There are way more important things to life than beauty and fashion. YOU are so much more than beauty and fashion, I’m going to focus on what is more important. I don’t know what i’m going to do but I know I want to be different. After the film was over i thought about all of this and really tried to internalize it. I literally couldn’t even sleep that night.
Here is to the crazy roller coaster we call life, enjoy the little things and always find time to be grateful. Grateful for you babes.
Thanks for reading!